Asking me to specify my expectations

  • By BD
  • February 21, 2024
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A an shrugging shoulders, narcissistic body language

A narcissist might ask what you expect of them for several reasons, which can include:

  1. Maintaining control: By asking you to specify your expectations, the narcissist may be attempting to maintain control of the situation and manipulate the narrative to their advantage. They may seek to gain insight into what you want to manipulate or exploit your needs and desires for their benefit.
  2. Gaining information for manipulation: Narcissists are skilled manipulators who may use the information about your expectations to their advantage. They may exploit your vulnerabilities or desires to further their agenda or to undermine your sense of self.
  3. Feigning concern or interest: A narcissist might ask about your expectations as a way of appearing concerned or interested in your feelings, but in reality, they may not genuinely care about meeting those expectations or improving the relationship. Their primary concern is often their own needs and desires.
  4. Shifting blame: By putting the onus on you to specify your expectations, the narcissist can deflect responsibility for their behaviour and avoid accountability. They may use your inability to articulate your expectations as evidence that you are unreasonable or overly demanding, thus shifting blame away from themselves.
  5. Maintaining appearances: Narcissists are often concerned with maintaining a certain image or perception of themselves. By asking about your expectations, they may be attempting to appear cooperative or open to change, even if they have no intention of actually changing their behaviour.

Overall, it’s important to approach interactions with a narcissist with caution and to prioritize your well-being. Setting clear boundaries and seeking support from a therapist or counsellor can be helpful in navigating relationships with narcissistic individuals.